Premier League odds and betting tips

Football’s clearly gone wonky now no one’s there to keep an eye on things – but why fight the new normal?

Over the last six games of each side, Tottenham and today’s visitors West Ham (4.30pm) have scored 40 goals between them.

On that basis we just need to find a live goal threat or two at decent prices and it’s job done.

Gareth Bale is as short as just 6/5 ‘anytime scorer’ on his return. That looks a little bit greedy.

The last time Bale was in this London derby he did score. But so did Andy Carroll. Those were different days. The referee was wearing a hat.

Thankfully, Harry Kane is available ‘anytime scorer’ at 10/11 (Paddy). He’s bagged eight goals in eight games for Spurs, scoring in five. Get on.

David Moyes is out of medical isolation and back in the dugout, unless West Ham prefer to leave him on the bus with a flask of soup and a blanket.

The Hammers have done far better with Moyesy just phoning in his shout-outs and requests –
a bit like that old radio show, Stewpot’s Family Favourites, though with slightly more liberal use of the C-word.

Michail Antonio has been a chart-topper for Moyes since crowdless footy began, with goals in seven of 13 games. Back Antonio ‘anytime scorer’ at 2/1.

Trust in the blind justice of Stockley Park and punt a penalty angle when Aston Villa go to Leicester (7.15pm).

I understand that the VAR bods used this international break to take a long hard look at recent rulings and adjust the valve clearances on their algorithmic bollock-dropper.

As a result they have awarded a spot-kick to Manchester United in the 1976 FA Cup Final. Tough for Southampton, but fair’s fair.

Take ‘either side scores a penalty’ tonight at 2/1 (Paddy).

Expect an unexpected scorer for Crystal Palace. Not Christian Benteke.

Only FIVE Prem teams last season finished with more goals than their play deserved, say the ‘expected goals’ boffins. Going into this PL round, 16 of 20 sides were heading that way.

Big Cheikhou Kouyate is a ripe ‘anytime’ call at 17/1 (Paddy) against Brighton (2pm), and try Aleksander Mitrovic at 15/8 (Paddy) ‘anytime’ for Fulham at Sheffield United (12pm).

In Italy, Edin Dzeko should be fired up as an ‘anytime scorer’ prospect for Roma (7.45pm) at 10/11 (BetVic) after his Juve move went pear-shaped.

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